Thoughts
by EdanEster
Summary: Alice, her inner thoughts of Oz, and her existence. Moments that caused her to feel pain. And tears that had fallen, trailing along her soft pink cheeks. She's back...in the Abyss. Oz, the feelings he has bottled up inside. The secret's he has hidden. And the most precious person to him...disappearing...gone. It's lonely.


**Note: You'll understand this story better if you read the manga of it...Pandora Hearts Chapters 74 and 76 (Skip chapter 75)**

Hey Oz, why are your eyes so distant? Why are they so depressing and dark? They remind me of the abyss. I hate it.

"Alice, it's time for lunch, come on! Let's go together!".

I remember the time where you used to flash that stupid grin, yet it charms plenty women...I hate it. I always feel this heavy burden in my stomach, and the tense squeeze in my throat. I remember the word for that, Sharon...I mean, big sister told me what it was. "Jealousy" she said.

"Alice? You're acting weird lately...".

Stop looking at me with that stupid look on your face, those eyes that just makes me do the craziest things. That smile that somehow warms my whole body and chest. And that voice of yours that comforts me when I feel afraid, or alone. It just makes me seem...weak. I hate it so much.

"I'm fine Oz...let's just go already.".

You smile.

There you again, that familiar smile. How long are you going to fake it? Is it my fault that you have been acting like this? It doesn't matter...why do I care anyways. You're just my manservant. Your purpose is to just stick with me and stay by my side, to serve me.

"That was delicious! How about you Alice?"

Stop it already, stop smiling at me, stop looking at me. I already know that I was the one who caused you to be so...different. I've seen the way you act when no one is looking...when you think no one is looking. Your eyes become so dark you could barely see the natural, glowing green color. Your smile remains on your face but gives off a different feeling. A feeling that saddens anyone who sees it, a smile that only shows the pain and confusion you are experiencing. Your expression would look like a dolls...lifeless.

"Alice? Are you listening?".

"Uh! Yeah! Yeah!".

I bet you regret knowing me...due to my existence you have been experiencing so much agony and witnessing those who are close to you die a horrible death.

"Alice...are you really ok?".

Oz, stop acting all worried for me. I know already that you don't want to even be around me. I only cause misfortune. I've been alone for a long time...a very long time. So, if you were to decide to leave me all by myself, then I wouldn't mind. I'm used to feeling loneliness.

"Alice?! Y-your crying!".

What's this? Tears? Why? Why? Why am I crying? Is it because of Oz? Or...is it the thought of being alone again...of losing Oz.

"Alice...it's ok, I'm here. I would never leave your side...I'll protect you.".

Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lier, Oz, don't lie to me. I've caused you so much pain, and yet you say things like these?! You are strange and stupid Oz! You idiot! If you keep doing this...it'll be more difficult...to let you go.

"Goodnight Alice.".

My eyes, they're heavy. It's already late, I should sleep.

_Alice...Alice...you're going to be alone again...Alice...come back to the Abyss...come back to me...play with me. _

I jump out of my sheets...a nightmare.

••••••••

Oz, where are you? Oz?! Ah, there you are! What? Why are you holding my scythe...you're doing it again! Didn't I tell you that I hated it when you do that?!

"I'm sorry Alice, I don't have much time.".

What? What is this? Your not Oz...could it be?

You hit the ground with the dull end of the scythe...I know your plan, you're bringing the world down to the abyss...and you've done it.

"What have...what have you done, Jack?".

"I've simply sever the chains surrounding this world."

_..._

"The chains are starting to break...the cracks will spread out from this point until they all crumble to dust."

...

"It will take some time but...in the end, this world will finally be swallowed by the abyss.".

...

"What is it, Alice?"

Don't smile like that while using Oz's body...

"Does your soul remember this scene even though...you've lost your memories?"

Stop it...

"One hundred years ago, at Sablier...I did this very same thing."

..Stop it...I don't want to remember

"And yet...you...and Glen...stopped me!"

No...it's all...coming back to me. Stop it! No more! I don't want to remember! The images! The horrible scenes! Yes...I tried to stop you...you wanted more power, you asked for more power from me... and Alyss. But I didn't let you. Alyss tried to obey your wishes...but I stopped her. I prevented our bodies to switch enabling the chances of you succeeding in your plan. I knew what I had to do. Before she comes. I remember grabbing a pair of scissors right on the table next to me. I got away from your grasp Jack, but Alyss was coming. I had to stop her. I aimed for my throat...I was going to kill myself...just to protect you..."Oz.". My last words.

"Aaaaahhhh!"

I look up and see you, hunched over the ground, your hands formed fists, gripping onto the grass. Oz, you've finally come back to your senses!

"Oz Vessalius!"

I look to find more men in robes, hoods over their faces. They were going to attack you Oz.

"Oz!"

I ran to you, as fast as I could...but I tripped...I found myself on the ground..my legs...transparent. I can't reach Oz...my body is beginning to disappear. Why?! Oz needs me! I look up...I saw Gil. Thank goodness...

"Gil,".

It's Leo...Leos body that is now possessed by Glen Baskerville. Why is he here?

"Shoot him.".

What..? Shoot...him?

_Bam_

"OZ!"

I yelled out, I cried, I screamed, I raged. No use...it's not going to bring him back. And it hurt to know it. It hurt to admit that we are never going to see each other again.

That was the last thing I saw as I eventually faded into the darkness...I knew it...I knew I'd be alone again. I knew I'd end up in the Abyss again. Oz doesn't need me anymore...I remember...just at that time. He told me "You can't stay with me anymore..."

That's right...Oz...rejected me. It hurts...it hurts too much. I can't bare the pain. Oz...why? You should be by my side. I should've already understood that this was going to happen anyways. I already prepared myself for this moment. And yet...

Oz...I'm lonely...and cold...but of course you wouldn't know...because you're not here anymore...


End file.
